Monday, December 18, 2006
{ 12/18/2006 10:22:00 PM }
If I knew this was to happen... I would have rather have myself killed in the earthquake back at chiang mai last week.
But no.
I promise to stay strong. For
you. For
us.
I don't know how long I can last but I'll last till the last of the time.
I will pray hard everyday.
I will work hard.
I will understand.
I will one day, know what is the best for us.
I will... stay strong.
But... why am I still crying as I type?
Why can't I hold them back?
I want to stop but the more I want it to stop, the more it flows out.
Time.
Time will tell. Its a matter of time.
Patience.
Patience is a virtue. It would benefit me in the future. I hope.
Love.
Not just about feelings, not just about having to be in a relationship.
Its also about making sacrifices sometime... for the better.
Caine's right. Changes. The only constant thing in the world are changes. Treasure what you can have now. But I find it might be too late now. Or there might be still a chance.
My head feels like exploding. The more I want to stop thinking about it, I think about it even more eventually. I really hope this is not what it meant of moving on in life. Because I'm tired of having these kind of things again. So tired...
Is this a test? A test set by God? For the both of us?
Maybe. And I thought that putting us away from each other overseas, is already bad enough.
Now...its another one.
And you know what?
I'll give it my best to ace this test.
Cooro, I don't know if you're reading this but I doubt you are.
I promise what you asked.. Okay?
Yes. I'm still crying but I'll be alright.
I'm praying hard. For the best.
And Lord... gimme strength. To get by this. I really must get pass this stage. This test. This period.
Please....
Please...Please......
I feel so weak now.