Aylwin Gan
23.04.1990.
Ngee Ann Poly
ex ACS(BR)
machonacho.tumblr.com

I'm lame. I love Squash.
Has the love for Running
Shoe-addict
Nachos and Mac&Cheese for life

An ordinary person who hopes that one day he could open a cafe of his own. A well-known cafe where it serves great food, being friendly with everyone and making new friends. But hey, can't a guy dream? hahaha


This is my 2nd dream. I want to earn enough money to help the organisations that are fighting against Aids and HIV in Africa. I'll go on a mission trip to Africa and help the people too and I'll show them that there is at least 1 guy out there among the 6 billion people on the earth that cares for them.


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Thursday, March 12, 2009 { 3/12/2009 11:40:00 AM }

Came back from a NightVisit to one of my grandauntie.
Her suffering and her battle against her lung cancer has finally come to an end.
As much I didnt want to see her go, I very much preferred not wanting her to see her in pain.
Especially in all those medical machinery attached to parts of her body.
Especially on a Chinese New Year.

She has to eat and breathe through a tube.
She became partially blind.
She even has memory loss. She couldnt remember names or recognise people anymore. Even for a few seconds.
When my mother called me 2 nights ago, she said she has now passed away.
I totally went 'shit' in response.

Looking back at last year's post, 2008. August 26th.
She's been fighting it for so long.
Its good that she made it past Chinese New Year this year. It was my last time seeing her for the Chinese New Year.
Its just so ... weird.
Every year since young, going to her house for lunch on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year. She was happy, talking cheerfully and all.
Till last year, suddenly seeing her so down. So fragile. So aged. Close to a vegetable stage.
What the f.
Its painful to see her like that, I swear.
Its hurting. Damn.
It hurts so much.

It then now brings me back to 2 dates few years ago.
Eugene's / Bean's loss of his grandfather.
Squadmate Andrew's loss of his only parent. During O'levels.
I admire these people. They've gone through a difficult moment.
Nonetheless, they were strong to face it.
I'm not ready to face it myself.
I dont know if I'm even strong enough.
Its just so scary.

Now. I'm just loss for much to say anymore.
I dont know if i'm making sense.
I just want to unload all of these from my head.

Well.
I should stop now.
So much has come and go.
I want to talk to someone.
Hah.
Right.

Its been a long day.
Good night.